National health Will and Testament

Letter to My Lawyers.

Being of sound mind and body…

To whom should I leave my teeth
Which person do I love
Enough, to leave my smile to
When I’m dead and up above

My grandson will get my glass eye
When my life is at an end
I’d imagine I could see him
playing marbles with his friends

My artificial knee cap
I’ll leave to my younger sister May
She can have it in her living room
As a brand new candy tray

I think I’ll leave my hearing aids
To the woman up the road
They don’t work too well anyways
And in truth, the cow’s a toad!!

The breast implants that I have got
Are old, and slightly mottled
But, I’ll leave them to the nursing home
As two hot water bottles

All my unused catheters, to the pet store
that’s my wish
They can use them in aquariums
Pumping air for all their fish

This is my will and testament
It’s my National Health Care list
These bits of me are all I own
There might be some things that I missed

My artificial hip joint
I’ll give to the fellow down the lane
He can clean it up a little bit
And there’s a topper for his cane

Anything else that I forgot
That is still good, I want to go
To someone who might need it
Make it someone that I know

One last thing I ask now
my support hose, goes to Jack
He always wanted a nice hammock
To swing in out the back!!!

Inspired by the fine work of Pam Ayres.

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