Sports I never tried

While out walking with my girlies

Felt a feeling in my curlies

No need to say just what

Had made that feeling in my ….(nether regions shall be used here….but feel free to rhyme away)

I ran into the nearest store

I knew what I was looking for

No need now to name the brand

You’ll all know later where I stand

It’s obvious who came to visit

You never really want to miss it

Unless you’re trying for a kid

Then everyone knows what you did

No need now to be so coarse

But later riding on a horse

I felt a sudden urge to swim

It came to me just on a whim

So off I went out to the pool

Standing there just like a fool

My Esther Williams gene arrived

And on the count of three….I dived

I was great, I did astound

Thankfully..no sharks around

But as I finished in the water

I thought…well now I think I oughta…

Go out running for a while

In four minutes I’d done a mile

Incredibly, I had a feeling

For a cup of good Darjeeling

So I took a small time out

Before I had a boxing bout

Now, this I thought I’d never done

But then again, it could be fun

I was surprised, for I’m quite meek

I only hoped I didn’t leak

Remeber when this whole thing started

It wasn’t cause I thought I’d farted

Now, truth be told I cannot lie

I’d never give these things a try

But on tv….I saw an ad

And women do these with their pad

So, Playtex is the brand I like

And now I’m off to ride my bike!!!

So slap one on to be athletic

Then you won’t be so pathetic

Buy one box and get two free

Playtex is the brand for me!!!

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