Politically Correct Soul Selling

Political correctness has reached a brand new low
It has now reached good and evil
And has changed things down below

The devil is still the devil,
That much has not changed
But, the food is all organic
And the meat is all free range

I didn’t know the changes ’till
I made a plea last week
To sell my soul for increased wealth
And other things I seek

I expected a commotion
When the devil came from hell
But, there was nothing quite so flashy
When someone…rang my bell

I answered thinking nothing much
I looked outside to check
I am wary of the Mormons
and Jehovahs on my deck

I looked outside and there I saw
A man dressed all in grey
A poll taker, election geek
Let’s see what he may say

“Good day, kind sir, I come to you”
“You wanted to be rich”
I thought he isn’t from no bank of mine
He said “Sir, just call me Mitch”

“Mitch”, I said, “I don’t know how”
“you’d know I want to sell my soul”
He told me that was why he’s here
To get a deal done was his goal

I said, “why use the door bell”
“Why not the cloud of smoke”
He said “with budget cuts’
“Pyrotechnics made us nearly  broke”

“The PC folks got wind of us”
“of our tricks and double speak”
“Now, you sign away your soul to us”
“but, you can get out within the week”

“We can’t go by the same old name”
“Hell is not allowed”
“We’re H…E…double hockey sticks”
“Try saying that aloud”

“It doesn’t have the forcefulness”
“That the other word once had”
“we can call it heck, if we’re in a pinch”
“You can see, it’s got quite sad”

“The contracts are all readable”
“You don’t have to sign in blood”
“With HIV and STD’s”
“I may as well be mud”

“A soul still has some meaning”
“But, as you yourself can see”
“The devil stays at home now”
“And sends his minions out…like me”

“I have a small brochure for you”
“You have choices, please pick six”
“It’s more a club, a health resort”
“In H…E…double sticks”

“I can’t get out, I’m stuck for good”
“I signed my deal before”
“The PC people got us good”
“And now…we use the door”

“Please look over the contract”
“Take your time, and read it close”
“You’ll find it quite a good read”
“With language, non verbose”

“If you should have some questions”
“change your mind,  or want to tour”
“Just call me on my cell phone
“I’m at star66 extension 4”

“I’m sure you’ll still come to us”
“It’s not so bad, you’ll see”
“Just call me when you’re ready”
“You’ve got time, now we’re PC”

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