cats at christmas

If you’ve never pulled some tinsel
Out of your cat’s butt
Or cleaned up after “Fluffy”
Eats the poinsetta and throws up

Surely, you’ve redecorated
After “Fluffy” climbs the tree
You hear it smash into the floor
In the morning, about three

You’ve used wire to support it
Keep it straight, that is your goal
To “Fluffy” it’s her present
It’s her brand new scratching pole

When the tree has got no water
But, the cat just has to pee
You have to fill the bowl again
Beneath the dying tree

You kick ornaments around the room
And find out that they’re glass
Because “Fluffy” had to play with them
So, you kick her in the ass

It’s a Family Christmas Ritual
If you’re the owner of a cat
You can’t decorate and leave it
She won’t have none of that

Christmas is the season
For cats to drive you mad
And give you Christmas memories
You wish you never had

So, if you’ve never seen the tinsel
That the cat ate just last night
You can see it just below her tail
If the light just hits it right

This is why I have a dog….


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