Amish Drag Racing

Deep in the woods where the wild things roam

Back in the dark there are things

That happen at night when you’r all safe at home

When young men compete to be kings.

It happens each year when the falls fairs are on

These gatherings out in the dark

Thanksgiving arrives and the boys all move on

From these things that they do for a lark

The gauntlet’s thrown down by the challenging swarm

To the winner of last years crusade

His blood doesn’t boil, but it sure does get warm

Now that this years challenge is made

It normally starts at the Aylmer Fall Fair

“Josiah, you’re not is our class!”

He doesn’t fight back he just breathes deep and stares

For to him,  it’s a sin for to sass

They show up at night, all dressed up in black

No surprise if you knew how they live

But tonight is the time, for them all to step up

For a Lesson’s about to be give

The street was all dark, save a lantern or two

as the riders came out from the trees

These were not the old wagons you saw in the dark

These were ones that would make your heart freeze

Josiah stepped forth from the bustling crowd

Mr. Martin he said…I am here

Now is the time to show just how proud

of the horses you have over there.

I’ve heard of this race in the darkest of nights

Where the young men come out and are facing

Their fears and their hopes with only two lights

It’s the start of Amish Drag Racing

It was something to see these men dressed all the same

Two big clydesdales each made up their team

But to both of these men, this was not just a game

This was the way that they all burned off steam

They didn’t dare fight for that was a sin

And team sports didn’t get the job done

None of them drank so there was no need for gin

And a barnraising just wasn’t fun

Mr. Martin climbed up and he steadied his ride

Young Josiah just stood there and stared

Mr. Martin looked out, he was beaming with pride

Poor Josiah just stood looking scared

The starter came forth and he said to the men

With this hanky I will start the race

I will let it fly loose once I count to ten

And I let it fly free into space.

He counted it down and let go of the rag

And nobody moved from the post

Mr. Martins horse stood as did Josiahs old nag

And they both looked like they’d just  seen a ghost

The hanky was black just like ones they all had

And nobody saw him let go

The race buildup was great but the start was quite bad

In fact some men started to go

So, they tried it again with a different technique

Cause they found nothing there that was white

You can say it was strange but I say unique

To watch Amish men race in the night.

The horses lurched forth like two huge tyco trains

Sweat was poring from off of their backs

You could see from their eys it was really a strain

As their drivers took up the reigns slack

Equally paired, with two horsepower each

They tore up the road like a shot

But a really fast speed they both never would reach

Cause two clydesdales just don’t run so hot.

Amish drag racing is really a night

To see if the other would show

For it’s really no way to prove who is right

And the attendance is really quite low

So if you get invited and your hear of a race

That takes place where wild things  roam

Say you’d love to attend but you think to save face

You’d prefer not and would rather stay home.
..

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