Doing The Wife’s Hair

Doing the Wife’s Hair

Husbands, raise your hands
Keep them up if you love your wife
Keep them up if you colour your wifes hair
Okay, this is for the three of us that are left….

I did my wife a favour
As I do, because I can
I help her when I’m able
Not just because I am a man

I kill bugs when requested
I do the laundry like I should
I clean the bathroom when it’s dirty
And by doing so , feel good

Every few weeks I will help her
Hide the grey that she can see
I don’t volunteer to do it
But it’s cheap to hire me

A salon visit is expensive
Doing hair, and waiting hours
I just slip on my latex hand wear
And I have a bag full of super powers

Yes, I help my wife get couloured
I take the time and do her hair
I also, get it on the tiles
Up the wall and on two chairs

The dog gets covered just a little
The rug, a window and the bed
But, we always buy two packets
So, there’s enough to do her head

I have a jacket slightly mottled
It’s got a few brown spots, some red
I don’t know exactly how it happened
I even got some on our bed

Just call me Mr. Kenneth
In my jumpsuit doing hair
I get it where I think she needs it
And I spray it everywhere

She comes out looking gorgeous
She’s always happy with the result
She always looks a little different
Like someone who believes in the occult

If you’re a husband who likes money
Save it, colour your wife’s hair
Your part only takes ten minutes
You need ten towels, one mask, one chair

It brings us both closer together
My arms look like a leopard skin
All my shirts are slightly spotted
But all those spots, make me look thin

I’ve got to go now and get cleaned up
The carpets ruined, so’s the wood
But, she’s happy and we all know that
If the wife is happy….all is good!


  1. There are a few blog awards going around. Every time someone gets nominated, in order to accept the nomination, has to follow three rules 🙂
    1) thank the person who nominated you
    2) nominate 15 bloggers
    3) write 7 facts about yourself.
    You can visit my blog and see it 🙂
    (And I think “Take your truck and stuff it” is excellent 🙂 )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hilarious.
    My wife does not color her hair so I can’t be on your team. I do love saving money but a good dye job makes one look serene. I too clean the bathrooms, they are part of my weekly chores. Don’t ask her how I’m doing as she’ll say I forget the floors

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Kenneth, I still have my hand up. Yes, I do my wife’s hair, even highlights. I can’t believe what they charge in salons.

    I love your poem — great rhythm and rhyme. ~ Dennis


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