Dog Farts

Dog Farts

There just isn’t enough febreeze

to rid the room of the haze

Of a dog fart, strong and silen

t It kind of puts you in a daze

It kind of sneaks in, then it hits you

An olfactory h-bomb in your face

Meanwhile, he just lies there

He’s wiped the room with anal mace

There is no middle ground here

They always smell like something died

Like he caught a squirrel in the garden

Now, it’s rotting his insides

Dog farts, are a weapon

That our army has not used

In fact I told them in a letter

In their reply, they were amused

“We’ve tried to duplicate it”

“A killer weapon… stops the heart”

“But, our scientists just aren’t able”

“To reproduce a strong dog fart”

“Thank you for your consideration”

“We’ll let you know, if we succeed”

“We agree with your kind letter”

“dog farts escape and then they breed”

Sometimes when a dog farts

It makes a noise, he turns around

“my god, I smell incredible”

is the look comes from my hound

So, if you’ve never smelled a dog fart

And your dog just sneaks one out

Do yourself a favour

Do not feed him brussel sprouts.