Doing The Wife’s Hair

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Doing the Wife’s Hair

Husbands, raise your hands
Keep them up if you love your wife
Keep them up if you colour your wifes hair
Okay, this is for the three of us that are left….

I did my wife a favour
As I do, because I can
I help her when I’m able
Not just because I am a man

I kill bugs when requested
I do the laundry like I should
I clean the bathroom when it’s dirty
And by doing so , feel good

Every few weeks I will help her
Hide the grey that she can see
I don’t volunteer to do it
But it’s cheap to hire me

A salon visit is expensive
Doing hair, and waiting hours
I just slip on my latex hand wear
And I have a bag full of super powers

Yes, I help my wife get couloured
I take the time and do her hair
I also, get it on the tiles
Up the wall and on two chairs

The dog gets covered just a little
The rug, a window and the bed
But, we always buy two packets
So, there’s enough to do her head

I have a jacket slightly mottled
It’s got a few brown spots, some red
I don’t know exactly how it happened
I even got some on our bed

Just call me Mr. Kenneth
In my jumpsuit doing hair
I get it where I think she needs it
And I spray it everywhere

She comes out looking gorgeous
She’s always happy with the result
She always looks a little different
Like someone who believes in the occult

If you’re a husband who likes money
Save it, colour your wife’s hair
Your part only takes ten minutes
You need ten towels, one mask, one chair

It brings us both closer together
My arms look like a leopard skin
All my shirts are slightly spotted
But all those spots, make me look thin

I’ve got to go now and get cleaned up
The carpets ruined, so’s the wood
But, she’s happy and we all know that
If the wife is happy….all is good!

My Mother’s Father

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Originally posted on Poesy plus Polemics:

Photo from razorsbarbershop.com

Photo from
razorsbarbershop.com

(Remembering Grandpa Niccolò DeTore)

bay rum barber poet
stropped razors and verse
white handlebar mustache
handsomely lifted his smile
Neapolitan gold in his eyes
bootstrap pride in his step
classic rhetoric served at
each meal from his dapper
silk tie and trim waistcoat
surveying his long kitchen
table where thirteen young
minds learned their everlast
lessons of life in America
steeped in his practicum
lovingly eagerly wrapped
in his keen gentle wisdom

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Mickey’s Halloween

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Mickey’s Hallowee’n

The trick or treater stood before me
Dressed like someone from a story
He was looking good but really gory
I knew just who he was

The blood looked real and really icky
I knew the kid, his name was Mickey
The dried blood it looked really sticky
He never said a word

Zombie like, he stood there staring
It was a fantastic costume he was wearing
I’m sure that most kids he was scaring
He held his bag up high

I reached behind to give him candy
The treats were close, I had them handy
I gave him chocolate, a bar called “Dandy”
He smiled and walked away

I watched him leave and said “good haunting”
I hope he gets all that he’s wanting
He looked at me, like I was taunting
He didn’t understand

Each year he goes out trick or treating
One year poor Mickey took a beating
While he was standing, and his candy eating
He’s never been the same

He’s 24 and no one cares
It’s not the same if he’s not there
He always comes and stands and stares
Mickey makes our Halloween

It’s Hallowe’en again

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Tales of ghouls and trick or treats
Witches, ghosts, and things to eat
The spirit world is here to greet
It’s Hallowe’en again

Soaping windows, creaky doors
Begging like addicted whores
They keep coming,  they want more
It’s Hallowe’en again

Haunted houses, ghostly frights
Witches flying brooms tonight
A zombie lawyer is quite a sight
It’s Hallowe’en agin

Charlie Brown and Snoopy too
Get rocks as treats, I ask…do you?
Dressed as smurfs, all done in blue
It’s Hallowe’en again

The smell of fall is in the air
Tonight the kids are out to scare
I stay downstairs like I’m not there
It’s Hallowe’en again

Nip

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Originally posted on Poesy plus Polemics:

Amaretto Disaronno Photo from amaretto.univum.es

Amaretto DiSaronno
Photo from amaretto.univum.es

a cordial is a fine neat drink
it sweetens thoughts that I would think

pure essence of distiller’s art
alas I’m told it strains the heart

but moderation should protect
me from an adverse health effect

so I’ll just sip a smallish cup
and see what verse I might dream up

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WITCHES’ MASQUERADE BALL

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Originally posted on hocuspocus13:

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Samhain…

Haunted Happenings a spooky house calandar’d by a once great event shadowed by corn stalks scarecrows and sheeted ghosts

Let’s bring Halloween back to what it once was…the most Magickal and Spirit-Filled evening of the Year

a Gathering for a vintage style Victorian Tea served in Fine China Tea Cups sharing memories of our loved ones now in Spirit each story about their life when they walked upon this Earth remembered…flavored Brewed Tea strangely shaped Finger Sandwiches and those danity delicious Petitfores

Seance…honoring our departed and keeping their energy close to us inviting them to participate in the blessings of our lives creating a pleasant environment by opening a pathway to the Spirit World welcoming our Guest…setting a place at the table adding just a touch…some of the Spirit’s favorites…flowers foods incense

a Dinner with the Spirits mementos of our loved ones that have gone center the table…photos trinkets…

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